A true friend will tell you the truth to your face - not behind your back

I was rebuked that my previous post was actually not appropriate for others because who would risk of telling the truth and shaking a comfortable relationship; and partly it requires time and energy (yes, I’m saying most people are lazy to do such). But seriously, don’t you think it’s better to get feedback when our friends (or family, or lover, or whoever) when they’re head is cool, rather than hearing nasty things and cynicism when they’re angry???

This was what a very good friend said:

everyone's view is biased and whether or not they can actually say anything meaningful is doubtful. Honesty is an interesting concept particularly when you are asking people about their perception of you. It is a real jumble of expectations and self-interest so not sure what you will really learn. I would put more stock in people who you respect.

I had a good review experience years back, when I was an OM back in Jakarta. I assigned all of the staff under my supervision to give me feedback. It was easier because it was specific and the objective was clear and not clueless “what was that you want me to review..?”. The next time I asked for a review was from my boss, which to my astonishment he translated it as "me asking for a raise." I got the raise, but his view was rather degrading so I stopped asking him that (and there goes my raise – lol).

A wonderful way to celebrate...

yuuummmm curry

some tandoori

and chutney!

Time flies...

It’s that time of the year again, where one should take time to reflect, look back and evaluate.

This year, I honestly don’t know what to evaluate. I mean I know it would be everything, if not the essentials in my life. Goals, expectations, etc. The thing is I watch I live my life everyday I don’t see the need of doing it annually anymore.

I know where I am (and I thank God for that), but to move forward, it’s sort of bleak. Many people’s lives took a drastic turn the past few weeks in relation to what the media call global crisis. It will impact me, one way or another, and until I know what decision to make I’ll just sit back and wait.

Sit back and wait.. seems that’s something I do a lot in my life. Nothing wrong with that, but someone told me it only allows you to go nowhere, like you’re walking on a treadmill. Nothing bad intended, though sometimes came out like sarcasm.

It’s not just merely about being a singleton. It’s old story, a tiring topic. It’s more about the remaining time of my life and what I’m going to do about it. It’s mundane to keep a job, to have a routine, something to wake up for, but when you lost that sense of purpose, what’s left?

This year I’m going to do something different. I want to invite my friends to make honest observation and suggestions. It could be anonymous or not. If you readers out there (if there’s any left, since I’ve been slacking off) feel they want to write something too, I'm open. You can either do it here in the comment box or email it to me :).

It can start with something like: "What I don't like about you, my friend: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I hereby promise to drop you by this time of next year if this hasn't changed."

Or "What I like about you, my friend: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I hereby promise to send you a nice gift."

Suksma mewali (read: thank you)!

Rumorsville

When is a news turn into a gossip? I would say when the intention is altered into something of ill manner. Aside from sinetron, the other reason I don’t have a telly is because the local TV is filled with gossip programs. The same hot news aired again and again on 5 different channels. What can be more boring than that!

That one is easy to escape. What about IRL? Especially the office can have corners where staff exchanging news on other staff. So where is the fine line between news and gossip? I’ve to admit at times I can’t avoid from being part of these talks, but I can say what we mostly talk about are not rumors, things (mostly aren’t so pretty) that already happened. Or is it the same thing?

So 2 weeks ago this staff had hard time executing a project to finish up something that got screwed up by another staff who was resigning. A more senior staff questioned her intentions, she only said she did what she was asked. What the senior staff didn’t know was the leaving staff got caught embezzling. I know perfectly well it was not my place to report this, but after a week passed and nobody straightened up the story I asked to meet with the senior staff and told him the situation in general, and that if he needed detail he should talk to the big boss. He finally got a better understanding of what had happened.

Delicate issue, but something needs to be done to put things back into perspective. No gossip indulged, fortunately. Our place of work is small enough, if we were to smear it with gossip, I definitely don’t want to be part of it.

yay.. holiday!

First week of November was excellent! Got myself an early birthday present: trip to Bangkok. The scheduling was made to match my bro’s schedule of visiting the same city. He came for a seminar + taking care his visa, me strictly for vacation. Timing was perfect as my boss was traveling too.

The first couple of days I stayed in an area called Khaosan. Unlike my first trip there 2 years ago I didn’t really care about where we were going and what we were going to do, now I paid more attention. Apparently I’ve been to most of the tourist objects, so I didn’t mind exploring that part of the city on foot and on tuktuk.

Met up with my bro on third day, we went places, tried restos, and of course just enjoying being city dweller, ie. shopping, catching a movie, and checking out this club called Saxophone. Though they played blues the night we were there (which was not really my cup of tea), I kinda liked the place just for being smoke free (wonder if that will ever happen in Bali).

It was a bit unfortunate that I had to experience such disappointment just as I landed back in Denpasar airport. I didn’t shop much, mind you, but a little person as I am I depended so much on trolley when I am in an airport. I never really needed the porter (as they usually approach the bules anyway), and all this time I can manage so long there’s trolley. This time there was none. I enquired about this to several officials but they could only say “just wait, they’re still out there”.

After 15 mins I wasn’t sure someone was actually collecting them. So I decided to collect my strength, picked up my baggages and dragged them along with my handbag (which was quite heavy with a laptop) and a bottle of Tequila ordered by a friend. Pheww.. it was really a test of patience, but finally got a discarded trolley outside, just before I passed out.

The week went too fast, but I really enjoyed it, a long overdue vacation. Will share a couple of pics, my favorite place in Bangkok, the market :)